Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
