I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
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