You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize
