So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
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