Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
