I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
