but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize