Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
