can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
well you can't waste a boner
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
My dad is sitting where you rode me
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