my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
