4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
