You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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