so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
her facebook's as public as her vagina
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Randomize
