My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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