Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
My hair reeks of homosexuality.
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
