O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
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