My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Randomize
