Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Randomize
