So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
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