i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Randomize
