I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
Did you just see the Batmobile???
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
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