I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize