im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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