I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize
