mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize