im drinking this country out of the recession.
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
