Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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