I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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