This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
