You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
no, he came in my armpit
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize
