it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Randomize
