he puts the penis in happiness.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
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