I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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