garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
Randomize
