And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize
