Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Randomize
