so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
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