Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
