I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize