i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
I want her autograph on my taint
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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