ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Randomize
