by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
