he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Randomize
