Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
