If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
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