I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize
