It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
