Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Randomize
