just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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