K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
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