Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
we're making bets on your personal life
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
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