New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Randomize
