I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Randomize