I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
