weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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