Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
