There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Randomize
