Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Randomize
