I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
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