This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Randomize
