bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
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