Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
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